MAINTAINING LDR TIPS!

Hi!

Please shout out to LDR Fighter because they have been great keeping the relationship go! Yup, today I am going to tell you guys about how to maintain relationship, especially for long distance romantic relationship. Anw… What is long distance romantic relationship? Based on what I have researched, LDRR is a relationship which geographic distance limits daily physical togetherness between couple and prevent them from being with each other as much as they would like (Pistole & Roberts, 2011).

In my opinion, the long distance relations fighters are very tough because they have to survive with the distance gap and different time which not every couple could get through of it. But, in this digital era, distance gap can be solved by the existence of technology and internet. Social media and chatting application such as Twitter, Skype, Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram helps a lot in maintaining the long distance relationship going. Because according to Pap et al (2014) Social networking sites and chatting application play an increasingly important role in maintaining relationship. Because of the existence of technology and internet which lead the appearance of many social media and chatting application, the distance gap that the LDR couple live, feels narrower.

No need to give wordy explanation about it, let’s move on to the tips! These few tips are based on my personal experience and I want to share it to all my LDR fighter fellow, especially for the beginner fighter.

1. Make and capture memories together, and share it!

Every time I go back to my country or he visits me, we always discuss and make list what things that we wanna do or what places that we wanna go together. For example, we make to-do-list to go to beach, amusement park, see a concert, have dinner date, visit tourism attraction, and so on. But, we did not forget to capture our moment together or take selfies as much as we want and after that we share it to social media. Or, I also use one of the pictures to be my profile picture in my chatting application. Why we always do that? Because we want to share to our follower the affection that we have, and shows them that we have great time together. This also supported by Utz & Beukeboom (2011) that social media provides opportunities for public to displays affection that they have.

2. Virtual dinner date.

What is virtual dinner date? You might think I am crazy or even pathetic but I have virtual dinner date with my boyfriend once a week. This tip works for us! Because the distance gap, we know that we cannot have dinner date like the other usual couple. And we still want to have dinner date even we are seperate by distance and time. So, we just integrate face to face and online communication which bot of us get greater relational closeness experience (Caughlin & Sharabi, 2013). What we do is, we go to restaurant in different country, and we literally sit an order meal while we look at each other, and yup! We eat together and have small talks through video call.

3. Video call everyday!

From the first time I study abroad, I told to my boyfriend to video call every day. Because I believe that face to face communication is one of the most important thing to keep the relationship going and this is one of the things that can make satisfaction for both of us. Because relationship maintenance involves processes that not only sustain the relationship but also ensure relationship satisfaction (Dindia & Canary, 1993). So, we always video call every at 10 pm Melbourne time and every 6 pm Jakarta time. We made agreement about it since the first time we were doing LDR.

Those are my tips on how to maintain LDR my own version, please comment on the boc below if you have another tips on maintaining LDR. Don’t forget to view my LDR tips video here!

 

Keep survive, LDR Figther! Yuhuuuu!

 

References:

Pistole MC &Roberts A, 2011, ‘Measuring long-distance romantic relationships: a validity study’, Measurement & Evaluation in Counseling & Development, vol. 44, no. 2, pp. 63–76, 10.1177/0748175611400288.

 

Papp LM, Danielewicz J, Cayemberg C & Sicha L, 2012, ‘Are we Facebook official? Implications of dating partners. Facebook use and profiles for intimate relationship satisfaction, Cyber psychology, Behaviour, & Social Networking, vol. 15, no. 2, pp. 85–90, 10.1089/cyber.2011.0291.

 

Utz S & Beukeboom CJ, 2011, ‘The role of social network sites in romantic relationships: effects on jealousy and relationship happiness’, Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, vol. 16, no. 4, pp. 511–527, 10.1111/j.1083-6101.2011.01552.x.

 

 

Caughlin JP &Sharabi LL, 2013, ‘A communicative interdepen- dence perspective of close relationships: the connections between mediated and unmediated interactions matter’,  Journal of Communication 2013, vol. 63, no. 5, pp. 873–893, 10.1111/jcom.12046.

 

Dindia K & Canary DJ, 1993, ‘Definitions and theoretical perspec- tives on maintaining relationships’, Journal of Social & Personal Relationships, vol. 10, no. 2, pp. 163–173, 10.1177/026540759301000201.

 

My Broader Online Activity.

After the assignment one end, I tweeted 3 tweets regarding the unit topic with hashtag #ALC203

 

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Online Identity

PS: This is my first blog. I am still learning how to use this site properly and practice how to write a blogpost in attractively. LOL

Let’s get started.

I believe people nowadays have their own social media, either Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc. I have known social media since I was in elementary school and the first social media that i have is Friendster. From Friendster, I got to know Plurk, Twitter, Facebook, Path, Instagram, Snapchat, Ask.Fm, and so on. Actually, there are many good things which i get from having social media. Some of them are, networking. There was study conducted by Melcombe (2011) about  Women’s Perception of Identity Construction on Facebook, claimed that womenbuild a social media profile fit their roles. For women who have worked, they will create professional profile, while women who are still students, they manage their profile for the purpose of socialising and networking. (Melcombe, 2011). YUP, since currently I am a student, I use social media to make new friends and connect to other. Another good thing is, I use social media as a platform to express myself. This also stated by Gearhart & Zhang (2015) that social media is a platform for active users to express themselves. (Zhang and Gearhart, 2015)

1 out of …?

Choose one of 10 pictures (maybe more) (while the poses are quietly the same) to be a display picture on the social media is one of the hardest things that I have done. Is it just me? (Please comment if you guys feel the same:)).

Like I said before, social media is one of platform that I use to express myself. So, I do not want to look ugly on it. Usually, I can took more that 10 pictures at one time and I choose which one that look the best of me. Such as, do I look fat? Or Which angle that I look good? I can spend an hour in my free time to choose the right picture for my display picture or post on my social media. In my opinion, profile picture is one of the self-image reflection that you want displayed online.

image1
Current display picture on my WhatsApp.

 

 

You choose what you want to share.

I would say I put different personas in most of social media that I use. Especially in Twitter and Instagram. Maybe because these two platforms have different purposes. Honestly, I do not really use Twitter anymore. But thanks to my one and only cool lecturer in this trimester, Adam Brown, who gave many challanges  to tweets in order to get tiffins point, now I am back to be active user on Twitter :). Alright, so back then when I still an active user of twitter, I mostly used it to tweet cringe things, such as I was sad.

I am a big fans of Barcelona Football club. So, every time FCB has match with another team I always watched. I did not even care what time the matched. So, I tweeted many tweets during the match. This tweet below is when Cesc Fabregas has not transferred to Chelsea, his brace made Barca win over Getafe.

And yes, back to one if the use social media, connecting people (it sounds like one of the slogan brand), it connects me to my new friends that i knew from exploring digital media: context of online participation class who are Zehra, and Sechi. I just share to my other fellas on twitter about them.

Different on Twitter, on Instagram I tend to post picture of me or something with good and happy caption. I do it because I just want to change my persona from Twitter that I was so cringe with my life that seems so sad, to the new cheerful of me. Another thing that I want to convey through my Instagram is, because I am Muslim and wear hijab (scarf to cover hair), I want to convey that muslim girl that wear hijab are not old fashion. We can be fashionable but in our way. So, mostly what I posted on my Instagram are my outfit of the day photos.

Is this the real you, Dar?

“Hey dar, why you look so different on twitter and instagram? Also in real life.”

Those questions got me like, REALLY? Because everything that I shared on my social media are based on the real situation that i feel. All my friends see me as energetic and cheerful girl in real life while when they checked me on twitter and saw my tweets, they are not fully believe on everything that I posted there. Maybe this happened because not a few people that being themselves online. It was explained by Dorian Wiszniewski dan Richard Coyne (2002) in Building Virtual Communities about online identity with emphasis on the “mask” concept. So, the result is whenever the individuals interact with others in social space, they portray a mask identity. (Wiszniewski and Coyne, 2002). But, not for me. I am the one who as it is. I am not the expertise to pretend to be another person either in real life or even online.

Not only Twitter and Instagram that i use for my personal. I also have social media that i use for my professional. Those are LinkedIn and About.me. LinkedIn and about.me has different purposes from other social media that I have. In my opinion, LinkedIn and about.me is a formal social that has function to sell the user online. The term sell it self is like the user promote themselves with online resume and CV also the skill that the user have voted by another user. Besides it connects people like other social media, but LinkedIn and about.me also facilitate the user to get to know about other people’s profession and also company that suits to the user.

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4 Social Media that I use infographic Canva.com

 

My Broader Online Activity.

Since the first time I enrolled in this unit, I have tweeted 4 tweets relating to this unit with hashtag #ALC203 with my own personal twitter @darakinasih. I also made a video relating to online identity with @zehrazaif and @cheelsea15. Other than those tweets and video, I have not published anything yet relating to this unit.

(1014 words, not including citations and captions)

References:

  • Melcombe, M. (2011). WOMEN’S PERCEPTIONS OF IDENTITY CONSTRUCTION ON FACEBOOK. Master of Arts in Communication and Leadership Studies. Gonzaga University.
  • Wiszniewski, D. and Coyne, R. (2002). Mask and Identity: The Hermeneutics of Self-Construction in the Information Age. In: K. Renninger and W. Shumar, ed., Learning in Doing: Social, Cognitive and Computational Perspectives : Building Virtual Communities : Learning and Change in Cyberspace., 1st ed. Cambridge University Press, pp.191-214.   retrieved 11 Dec. 2016, http://site.ebrary.com.ezproxy-f.deakin.edu.au/lib/deakin/detail.action?docID=10023389
  • Zhang, W. and Gearhart, S. (2015). Online Journal of Communication and Media Technologies. The Effects of Internet Use and Internet Efficacy on Offline and Online Engagement,  5(4), retrieved 11 Dec. 2016, http://www.ojcmt.net/articles/54/547.pdf